Thursday, October 29, 2009

Birthdays -- the two days before Halloween edition!


Convincing, Secretive, Intellectual

If you had a catch phrase it would be Eureka, because you're all about discovery. Innovative and super-smart, you're full of new, bright ideas about the best way to do things: from what to do with leftover baked potatoes (hash browns, anyone?) to how to solve that killer algebra equation. Your talent for thinking clearly and creatively makes you a leader at home and at school, and you're often happiest when you're putting your skills to work for a group.

+/-: You are a master at keeping your lips sealed, which means your peeps can trust you not to spill their deepest secrets. Keeping confidences is one thing--keeping your feelings on lockdown is another. If you're upset, learn to speak up.

Friend Match: You're an excellent friend and can always be counted on to keep your promises. Make sure you choose peeps who will throw the love back at you, like ultra-dependable Leo and sweet-tempered, giving Libra.

Love Match: You have a tendency to overthink. Make sure you're not so focused on the intelligentsia that you neglect your emotional needs. If your heart starts beating faster every time a certain talented Pisces musician walks by, it's not a chemical reaction caused by his cologne.

Best color: Cherry Blossom
Best date: Foreign film festival
Best job: Talent agent

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Is today your b-day? Don't keep it a secret!


Curious, Thorough, Interesting

You should have been a boy scout, because your motto is: Always Prepared. Cautious, serious, and smart, you like to know how things work and you never try anything--whether it's a new exercise regime or a different kind of frozen yogurt--without doing all your research. Your parents never have to nag you to do your homework and you're a classic overachiever, but one kind of activity is missing from your miles-long To Do list: Fun.

+/-: You've got everything planned, from your college of choice to your honeymoon destination (Bali!). But often the best part of a road trip is the unexpected detours, so allow yourself to wander off the path.

Friend Match: Opposites attract, and your life is definitely in need of some dramatic reversals. Buddy up with an explosive, spontaneous, and always-on-the-go Aries and unearth your inner troublemaker.

Love Match: An overachieving Aquarius with a ton of social clout may seem uninterested in you, but the truth is you don't exactly come across as warm and fuzzy. Dig your nose out of the books and try giving him a smile.

Best job: Engineer
Best pet: Cocker spaniel
Star match: Julia Roberts

Monday, October 26, 2009

October 26th -- The Birthday that Tells Me the Month is Almost Over!

So, I'm getting ready to do today's "Secret Language of Birthdays" feature and I notice the date -- October 26th. And I'm like, "Wow, where did the time go?" And then I'm like, "Jeez, I'm starting to sound old." And then I'm like, "How the h*** did that happen?" And then I'm like, "Too many birthdays." And then I say to myself, "Self -- you can't complain about birthdays in a column that extols the many virtues of the b-day." And then I reply (to myself), "Oh yes, I can."

I know -- way to expose my neuroses to a public audience... Just see what I do for my own birthday (which, as you might have guessed, is rapidly approaching).

Anyway, if you made it this far listening to my rant, hope you enjoy today's birthday column, and be sure to look for the teen edition of THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF BIRTHDAYS, in stores July 22nd, 2010!


Organized, Astute, Active

If life is a marathon, you're the Nike Air Pegasus Shoe: you make things run a little more smoothly. You'd make an amazing event planner, because you're excellent at organizing and bringing people together. Good thing you're already getting practice: a natural leader, you're always hosting the best bday bashes and organizing food drives for the local soup kitchen. You're independent but feel the happiest when you're working for the greater good.

+/-: It's great that you work so hard, but don't forget to make time for your friends. That A+ on your bio test looks good hanging from a fridge but won't giggle with you for hours or give you a hug when you need one.

Friend Match: Even though she couldn't organize her way out of a paper bag, your Gemini BFF is your fave party planning assistant. She's a social butterfly, like you, and is always ready to get the party started. Plus, when you're stressing about color coordinating plates and napkins she reminds you that this is supposed to be fun!

Love Match: You have an ambitious side, and you need a guy who's content to let you step into the spotlight, like a super-supportive Sagittarius who doesn't mind playing arm candy to your A-list starpower.

Best color: Cream
Best hobby: Class social chair
Style Icon: Blair Waldorf

Friday, October 23, 2009

Check out this great USA Today article about I AM A GENIUS OF UNSPEAKABLE EVIL!!!

We love it when people talk about our books...

Born on the 23rd of October?


Energetic, Quick, Passionate

You should be part of an improv troupe, because you're all about thinking on the fly. Spontaneous and energetic, you bore easily and are always looking for excitement. You can't stand planning in advance and are always ready to see where the week takes you. No matter how hard you try to find balance, you often feel like you're playing on a seesaw: if one part of your life is going well, another part is bottoming out.

+/-: You're just like the cream filling of an Oreo cookie, always in the middle of something. Your friends don't need you to get involved with their fights, so learn to look away when a conflict doesn't involve you.

Friend Match: You have a lot of great qualities, but stability is not one of them. That's why you need a rational and quick-thinking Capricorn BFF who can talk you down when you're on the verge of a blow-up.

Love Match: Nothing bores you more than the same old dinner-and-a-movie routine, so be on the lookout for an artistic Pisces whose idea of "date night" involves breaking into the aquarium with a picnic basket.

Best color: Lime green
Best job: Travel writer
Best pet: Tarantula

Thursday, October 22, 2009

TEEN VOGUE HANDBOOK signing at Border's Columbus Circle 7 p.m. tonight!

All the cool people are gonna be there. I'm gonna be there (though I suppose that was somewhat implicit in the whole "cool people" thing). Are you gonna be there?

And for those of you who don't enjoy appeals to coolness, this is the announcement from the Shops at Columbus Circle website:

Where my 10/22 birthday people at?


Charming, Exciting, Dramatic

If you were a magazine, you'd be Allure: naturally magnetic and appealing, the theme of attraction is dominant in your life. You've got people falling over themselves for you just like a set of dominoes, and you have a similar tendency to get swept off your feet. But for the most part you leave the loving to your admirers and keep your emotions under wraps. You often find yourself controlling other people--and situations--by keeping your cool.

+/-: Life is not a power struggle, so it shouldn't be all about control. Loosen up and let people see the real you. A constant game of tug-of-war is going to land you nowhere but flat on your butt.

Friend Match: You can be a little crazy, so you need your super-steady Capricorn to bring you back to earth once in a while. It's a fair trade: you bring the spice to her life.

Love Match: When it comes to love, you like to think you know just how close you can get to fire without getting burned. But a magnetic Scorpio who's as skilled in the art of charming as you will crank up the heat.

Best accessory: Chanel coat
Best job: Actress
Best style: Chic

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

And that's the way (uh-huh, uh-huh) we do b-days!


Individual, Magnetic, Verbal

If you were a word, you'd be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: imaginative, unique, and totally original. You march to the beat of a different drummer, and though you're extremely smart and quick-thinking, you have a deeply emotional side that often gets you into trouble. (You're just like a soccer goalie, always on offense.) Although on the surface you can be ultra-charming and agreeable, you can't stand being told what to do and are always looking to set your own rules.

+/-: Here's a more basic word you need to get familiar with: acceptance. You have a tendency to be super critical of your friends and family, especially when you feel they've let you down. Remember: Nobody's perfect!

Friend Match: There are a ton of people who wish they were in your inner circle, but that place is reserved for a trustworthy Leo, who has the two qualities you value most in a friend: honesty and loyalty.

Love Match: You can be extremely stubborn, so stay away from a Taurus who will just want to butt heads. At the same time, you hate pushovers. Find balance with a self-assured Libra who knows how to compromise.

Best color: Saffron
Theme song: That’s Just the Way We Roll – Jonas Brothers
Best vacation spot: Trekking through the Amazon

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

We love our birthdays, oh yes we do!


Enthusiastic, Logical, Influential

If you were a classic Madonna song, you'd be Vogue. You always know what's in and what's out, but you're more interested in setting the trends than in following them, which means you're often slightly out of step with your peers. Your style, beliefs, and opinions place you firmly in the avant-garde. You'd rather be admired than accepted, and your desire to be influential is so strong that you take criticism like a two-year-old takes a Calc test: badly.

+/-: Your spirit animal might be the mule, because you are super stubborn. Once you get an idea in your head you can become obsessive about it, but letting know when to let go will save you lots of headaches in the end.

Friend Match: Sometimes you feel like no one understands you. Thank God for an artistic and original Pisces who completely appreciates the methods behind the madness.

Love Match: When you fall for a guy who's strongly influenced by Mercury, you'll be in and out of fashion so often it will make your head spin. Time to vote him off and stick with a more stable and forward-thinking Capricorn.

Best pet: Parakeet
Best hobby: A/V Club (you’re an expert on obscure films)
Style icon: Bjork

Monday, October 19, 2009

I am A Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President -- Featured on The Daily Show!!!

Click on the link below to watch Jon Stewart talk about Josh Lieb's I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President on the October 15th episode of The Daily Show:

You can watch the whole episode if you want, but if you're just looking to add some E-villll to your life, fast-forward to the 19 minute 28 second mark (approximately) because that's when the really good stuff starts to happen -- Jon Stewart stresses how funny the book is. And let me just say it again so we're clear: the book is uproariously funny. Laugh-until-your-belly-hurts funny. Laugh-until-tears-start-streaming-down-your-face funny. Laugh-until-tears-start-streaming-down-your-face-and-you-have-to-run-to-get-a-tissue-because-tears-and-snot-are about-to-land-on-your-brand-new-shirt-and-your-mom-is-going-to-yell-at-you-because-she-won't-be-able-to-get-the-stain-out-with-her-Tide stick funny. In other words, it's freakin' hilarious.

Get Your Copy of The Teen Vogue Handbook Signed by Editor-in-Chief Amy Astley!

If you're looking to make your copy of The Teen Vogue Handbook even more invaluable (though with all the advice in that thing, it should already be your new bible) and you happen to be in the City of Angels, then head on over to this event at the Otis College of Art and Design:

Otherwise, be sure to check out the following events once Amy's back in the Big Apple:

10/19/09 -- These Birthdays Are So Fine!


Open, Independent, Lively

You better like the taste of sock, because you are always putting your foot in your mouth. Totally outspoken and opinionated, you have a tendency to blurt out whatever you're thinking. Your policy of brutal honesty may get you into a lot of trouble, but people have to respect you for always saying what you mean and meaning what you say. You can't stand liars and fakes, and your idea of serious torture is getting (or giving!) the silent treatment.

+/-: You blow up faster than a volcano. But you cool off just as quickly, and when you fight with your BFFs the damage is never long-lasting. Life's too short to hold grudges.

Friend Match: You can't stand when people keep secrets from you, so stay away from Pisces and Scorpio, who tend to be some of the most private signs. Stick with a tell-it-like-it-is Taurus or an honesty-only Virgo.

Love Match: Admit it: you love attention. There's no harm in a little bit of flirtation, but make sure you don't spread yourself too thin--and miss out on an adorable Aquarius who's looking to be your one and only.

Best color: Yellow
Best hobby: Columnist for your school newspaper
Theme song: So What – Pink

Thursday, October 15, 2009

October 15th -- Halfway between the 2nd tenth of the school year and Halloween

Yes, that's a crazy description. But, frankly, that's the thought that always went through my head around this time (you know -- because you start school in September, so when you're done with it, you're done with 1/10 of the school year, and Halloween is kinda a big deal). You get it, right? It's not just me? It's probably just me.

Oh well, here's some b-day action for ya:


Magnetic, Knowledgeable, Challenging

You're just like a dog, always laying claim to your territory. Surprise! Your fave place to stake out is usually right in the middle of the spotlight, though you're not just about upstaging your peeps. You get props for being a great leader and team member: You've got more personal attraction than a magnet, so when you speak people listen up. You may not get voted Miss Congeniality any time soon, but you're a lock-in for Miss Honesty.

+/-: Like the eye of a tornado, you're always in the middle of a storm. It's great that you do your own thing no matter what, but a little bit of compromise can go a long way when it comes time to smooth over a rough patch with a disappointed friend or a scandalized teacher.

Friend Match: You're always on-the-go, and sometimes things get so crazy you have trouble keeping your feet on the ground. Count on a down-to-earth, balanced Libra to do it for you.

Love Match: You've got plenty of admirers, but for a guy to move up on your Most Wanted list he's got to be laid back and smart, an overachiever and a social dynamo. Luckily, a January-born boy meets all the requirements.

Best job: Music critic
Best pet: Beagle
Best style: If it doesn’t have sparkles, you’re not interested!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

What does it mean if you were born on October 14th?

We'll tell you!


Measured, Reasonable, Composed

If you were weather, you'd be an even 75 degrees: moderate and comfortable, you leave the highs and lows to other people. It's important for you to avoid extremes. You keep disappointments from turning into major meltdowns, and you know that just because your crush shoots a smile your way it's no excuse to start planning your wedding (unlike some of your friends). Practical and reserved, you often seem older than your years.

+/-: Moderation in all things is a good philosophy in theory, but there are some things--like laughter and dark chocolate--it's okay to OD on once in a while. Let yourself indulge more often.

Friend Match: You're so together, you make Martha Stewart look like a hot mess. But every so often you should let a giggly, fun-addict Aries help you tap into your inner child.

Love Match: You're not the most outgoing person in the world, which is why a romance between you and an equally reserved Virgo never gets off the ground. Love is about risk, so take a chance on a passionate and expressive Scorpio.

Best accessory: Northface backpack
Best color: Tan
Best vacation spot: Summer house in the Hamptons

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Question: What do you get when you cross War and Peace with The Breakfast Club and a pack of wolves?


Or at least that's Jon Stewart's opinion. And yes, I mean that Jon Stewart. He of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart. Don't believe me***? Check out this video:

And be sure to look for I AM A GENIUS OF UNSPEAKABLE EVIL AND I WANT TO BE YOUR CLASS PRESIDENT, in stores today!!!!
***Okay, so his direct quote is: "If War and Peace had a baby with The Breakfast Club and then left the baby to be raised by wolves, this book would be the result. I loved it." But you go try turning that into a question! Yeah, I know, I know it can be done. But it would be kinda lengthy. So, I went with the abbreviated approach... followed by this explanation. So, ummm... yup, next time I take the easy way out.

If you were born on October 13th...


Intense, Successful, Demanding

You're like an Oreo that's been left out too long: one tough cookie. You always go for the gold--no ifs, ands or buts--and you can't stand whiners and quitters. A super-serious student and a fierce competitor (whether you're vying for the title of MVP on your summer soccer league or trying to land a date with the cutest boy in school), nobody wants to get in your way. You make a frightening enemy: the words forgive and forget aren't in your vocab.

+/-: It pays off that you treat school like a job (all those A's!), but you’re a briefcase away from acting like a straight-up fifty-year-old. Give yourself a vacation and relax once in a while.

Friend Match: You don't win any warm and fuzzy awards for first impressions--the truth is, you're shy deep down so can often come across as standoffish. A perceptive Pisces knows how to break through your barriers.

Love Match: You never give second chances, but you'll have to take it easy on a serious and sincere Cancer who's doing his best. He's not a mind reader, so give him time to get close to you before you write him off.

Best date: Any black-tie event
Best hobby: Class president
Best pet: Bulldog

Thursday, October 8, 2009

What's the secret language of birthdays? Glad you asked!


Imaginative, Romantic, Capable

If you were a date, you'd be a hot air balloon ride: romantic, unusual, and all about reaching new heights. You're passionate and free-spirited. It seems you fall head-over-heels for a new crush every week, but it's not just a killer smile and a set of dimples that makes your insides shivery. You see the beauty in the world around you, and get just as excited about a gorgeous sunset or the mystery of the tides as you do about basketball-playing cuties.

+/-: People need a passport just to get in touch with you, because you're often off in your own world. Daydreaming is fine, but learn to touch down in the real world every so often. Your friends and fam miss you!

Friend Match: A sarcastic Scorpio may rub some people the wrong way, but you love her off-beat sense of humor and passion for trouble. Nice is all well and good, but you like to keep things spicy.

Love Match: You've got a poet's soul, and no one's a better match for you than an ulra-artistic, sensitive, and perceptive Pisces, who will share your love of deep conversation and traditional romance.

Best date: Waterfront restaurant
Best job: Illustrator
Best vacation spot: Paris (What’s more perfect for you than the city of love?)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What does your special day say about you? Shhh... it's a secret!


Committed, Idealistic, Charming

If you were a movie, you'd be Rebel With A Cause. You're always fighting for something—whether it's cruelty-free lipgloss or longer lunch periods—and even though you're often in trouble with 'rents and teachers, people can't help but admire your fire. You're a strong believer in honesty and have a reputation for bluntness, but you're so charming (and well-intentioned), people usually forgive even your most outrageous observations.

+/-: You might as well be deaf, ’cuz you never listen. You can't stand when people tell you what to do, but keep in mind that your teachers and parents may be piping up with opinions that will actually help you.

Friend Match: You're constantly getting into scrapes, and you need a BFF who's going to stick by your side when your parents (or the cops!) crack down on your latest protest, like an ultra-loyal Leo.

Love Match: You and an equally-rebellious Scorpio will go together like a marshmallow in a microwave: hot, and unexpected, with a tendency to explode. If you both keep a wrap on your tempers, you can avoid the blow-ups.

Best accessory: “Go Green” tank top
Best hobby: Debate team
Star match: Rachel McAdams

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

THE TEEN VOGUE HANDBOOK -- in stores now!!!

THE TEEN VOGUE HANDBOOK: An Insider's Guide to Careers in Fashion, is finally available in stores!!! So... if you're looking for tips on how to succeed in the fashion industry, pull on some skinny jeans, slide your feetsies into some ankle boots, and head on over to the nearest bookstore because you gots to get yourself some TEEN VOGUE love!

To whet your appetite a little further, check out this interview with Anna Wintour (excerpted from the Handbook):

We're gonna party like it's 10/06/09!


Optimistic, Adventurous, Vivacious

If you were a bumper sticker, you'd say Seize the Day: you're all about living life to the fullest, and no matter what snags you hit (like massive amounts of homework or nagging younger sibs), you're determined that nothing's going to get in the way of your good time. You're fatally allergic to boredom so you seek out adventure and excitement. Deeply romantic, you fall head over heels so often it's amazing you don't have a permanent concussion.

+/-: You are definitely a glass-half-full kind of girl, but it’s okay to give in to the blues every now and then. If you try to be Miss Suzy Sunshine 24/7 you're bound to burn out.

Friend Match: You want a BFF who knows how to keep the good times rolling. A unique and confident Gemini will keep things lively, but will also be a perfect movie-buddy on the (rare) occasions you want to veg.

Love Match: You fall hard and fast, so you better make sure the tumble is worth it. A lively and intelligent Aquarius makes the perfect plus one to a party, and will also provide a mellowing influence when your life is getting too crazy.

Best color: Fuchsia
Best date: Rock climbing
Best style: Harajuku

Check back each day to find out what your birthday says about you, and be sure to look for THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF BIRTHDAYS -- Teen Edition!

Friday, October 2, 2009

10/02 -- Birthday Goodies for You!


Charismatic, Attractive, Witty

You're just like Z100: when you're on, everyone tunes in to listen. Charming, persuasive, and allergic to sugarcoating, you always say exactly what you feel--even if the truth hurts. (Your BFF had to know that her lime-green coat was puke-worthy.) But it's not like you're always running your mouth; you say only what you need to say to get your point across, making you the top choice for Debate Club President and a fierce enemy.

+/-: You've got a seriously sarcastic side, so be careful that people don't mistake your bark for a bite. It's great that you've got such a strong sense of humor, but you have to make sure everybody is laughing with you.

Friend Match: You can't stand girls who play dumb, so look out for a smart and sassy Scorpio who can more than match you in a game of verbal sparring.

Love Match: You like an up-front attitude and despise game-playing, so a mischievous Aquarius who keeps his feelings hidden will leave you feeling cold. A straight-up, cards-on-the-table Taurus is the perfect remedy.

Best color: Crimson
Best date: Comedy Club
Theme song: Honestly - Cartel

Thursday, October 1, 2009

So you were born on October 1st...


Unique, Dedicated, Dignified

You should compete for Best In Show, because you're all about being top dog. It's not that you're aggressive or overly ambitious, but your clear head and ability to see the whole picture makes you stand out from your peers. You're naturally social and like to be surrounded by a small group of fans (um, friends) at all times. Your philosophy? There's no point in being leader unless you're leader of a pack.

+/-: Generally, you’ve got a ton of confidence. But because you're a perfectionist you're also plagued by fears that you'll never be good enough. But all your stressing is a recipe for failure, so relax and have faith in yourself.

Friend Match: You value the way an earth-sign friend sticks by you, and she values your uniqueness and fearlessness. You help her strut her stuff, and she helps keep you grounded.

Love Match: You’ve got your own ambitions (like being elected class prez), so you don't have time for a me, me, me, Taurus. A super supportive Aquarius, on the other hand? Vote yes.

Best accessory: Dolce and Gabbana eyeglasses
Best job: Head of a cosmetics company
Best style: Power suit